April Fools
by SilverdustXHearts.1111
Summary: Nessie hides from an Alice shopping trip, but Bella gets pissed and calls to tell her that Jake rode his car off a cliff and died. How shall they get back at her? Let's see.... totally random


None of these Characters are mine, but the good idea is!

**April Fools Day**

**Riiiiiiiing…rinnnnnng** My phone buzzed in my pocket. I was lounging on the couch in the living room. My mother had been taken shopping by Alice, but I was able to hide and get out of it.

"Sw-sweetie." My mother, Bella, stuttered. She seemed to be sobbing.

"Mom, what's wrong?" I knew shopping trips with Alice were intense, but they couldn't be that bad.

"Darling, it's Jacob. I just got a call from Billy. He didn't see the end of the road, he thought it was a hill. Jacob drove over a cliff, and, well died." She sobbed some more. "We'll be home in a few hours. Be strong for me until then, Kay?"

Jacob, my Jacob, my sweet Jacob just died. Where was he? Did they find his body? No, this couldn't be happening. A hole was just ripped in my abdomen.

"Uncle Jazz, I'll be back later!" I spit out so fast he might not have heard it, and then I was running.

I wasn't as coordinated as I usually was. Wet tree branches wacked me. Leaves were stuck in my hair by the time I got to Billy's. I almost bashed the door frame in for hitting the doorbell.

I sunk to the ground and started crying. My brown curls were coated in a light mud, and the rest of me was blanketed by dew.

The door opened. "Ness?! What's wrong! ZOMG what happened to you?!" I felt him kneel down and hold me.

"You're alive?!" I demanded.

"Why are you angry about that fact?" He cowered a little.

"MOTHER!" I spat, but before I left I wrapped my wet arms around his neck and kissed him. He pulled my body closer to him. I couldn't resist that. I kissed him for like five more minutes. I was so happy he was alive.

I pulled back, gave him a peck on the cheek, and was off the way I came.

"ISABELLA MARIE SWAN!" I basically screamed as I saw them pull in.

Alice got out with a hard expression. "I left her at the food court for ten minutes while I went to get something. Don't blame me." She turned and walked into the house.

My mother slowly got out. She bit her bottom lip. She was **laughing**. "You should have known it's almost impossible for him to die! He knows La Push in and out, he's not going to just 'not see' the cliff!"

I was about to crush her. So what if she was more vampire than I was. I would rip her to pieces anyway.

"Why don't you wait until after she comes home from Charlie's?" Edward whispered so Bella couldn't hear. "We'll do a number on her."

Whenever dad said "a number" you know it involves theatrics. I was happy to oblige.

"Now pretend I threatened to take your Silverdust away." Silverdust was the hottest new brand of sports car. It was amazing. I loved it to death.

"Fine." I whispered loud enough for mom to hear, and trudged into the house, secretly laughing in my head.

**Bella POV**

I drove back to the house. I was going to take Ness for ice cream for being so mean earlier. Oh well, her fault for landing me with a shopping trip alone with Alice.

I pressed the button on the dashboard and the garage opened. That's weird. Alice decided to take up my place and her's with the bright yellow Porsche. My Cadillac wasn't that big. Why would she do that?

I parked on the drive and went through the front door. "Alice! You parked in my space!" I say at a human's tone. She was watching TV with the others on the couch.

"Why are you here?" Carlisle asked frowning.

"I was gone for a whole three hours. That's how long talking with Charlie usually lasts." I say.

"Whoever you are you need to get out. I don't know what you think you're doing by just barging in like this, but you need to leave. This is a private home."

"Alright, what's up with Carlisle?" I asked the rest of them.

"Young lady, my name is Edward. Now leave my family's house or I will be calling the cops."

"Edward what's going on!?" I shout at the real Edward.

"My name is James, and what's going on is that you decided to trespass on our property." I heard a crunching noise. Renesme turned around with a plastic container full of raw broccoli.

"Who the –beep- are you?" She asked with an eyebrow up.

"What's going on? Reni you never eat human food! You hate broccoli."

"My name is Corinne. Get off my terf." She said. "I love broccoli! It takes mom hours to get me to eat one cookie." She gestured to Esme.

What? I was confused. I felt the need to faint, but I couldn't.

"Daddy, I think she's a crazy. You know those people who end up in the woods and they get all lost and go insane. I bet she's one of those." Alice put in, talking to Carlisle. She then walked over and sat in Rosalie's lap, kissing her as she did so.

"YOU'RE NOT LESBIAN….I think…" Actually I never asked, never thought to. Maybe she was bi. No, snap out of it Bella. "AND I'M NOT CRAZY! I NEVER GOT LOST IN THE FOREST! RENESME IS MY DAUGHTER, AND YOU" I twirled around to meet Edward's gaze. "You were my husband…" I fell to the ground and started dry sobbing. I wish I could just cry. Dry sobbing was one of the worst feelings in the world.

I felt Edward's feet jump to the floor as he ricochet himself over the back of the sofa. He walked to me. "It seems you're a bit confused, Miss. Why don't you stay here for the night? We have a guest house. I'd be happy to take you there." What was he saying? I didn't sleep! Neither did they! Well, Ness, but in general.

"I don't understand, Edward." I held my stomach.

"My name is James. Come on, we'll get you into your room." He led me out of the house and onto the trail. We walked at a human's pace and finally reached the cottage. I loved the familiar smell of lavender, but it couldn't comfort me.

He led me into Ness's room. It had the bed that usually occupied our room.

"Have a good sleep Miss, we'll figure things out in the morning. I'll be down the hall if you need anything."

I tried to sleep. It wasn't happening, obviously. Thoughts of Edward flew to my mind and what we could be doing right now. I began to dry sob again. My chest ached.

A thought occurred to me and I almost flew out the door to check if Edward was actually sleeping. He was, yet he still had pale skin, and purple bruises under his angelic eyes.

I still had a thirst for blood, so I must have been a vampire. He must have too.

I ran outside and caught a squirrel. Then ran back in and held it over his nose. I felt ridiculous, but I was out of my mind. Maybe I was crazy.

"What is on my face, Miss?" He said, waking up. He really was human. I must have been crazy.

"You're having a dream." I whispered. "I'm leaving now." I walked out, and let the squirrel free. Then came back in my room and "slept."

**Back at Home**

"Wow Alice, I didn't know you felt that way about me." Rosalie commented smiling.

"What can I say, guys just don't have that spice I like." She smiled and climbed back into Jasper's arms, kissing him passionately.

"Thank-you everyone! I love you." Nessie got up to hug everyone.

"Of course Ness. We'll always help when your mom decides to be a jerk." Emmet smirked.

**The Next Day**

"Did you get any sleep, Miss?" Edward asked me. We sat at the small table in the kitchen. He was eating, toast.

"Edward I can't sleep! I'm a vampire, and you certainly don't eat human food!"

"That's interesting." He stared at me as if I was crazy. "I'm sure the psychologist we hired will get you sorted out. He's very talented. Known, world wide in fact."

"What?! I don't need a doctor! I need you guys back! Come on Edward! Work with me! I love you! Do you remember me at all?"

"That's very flattering, but I don't. I wish you would snap out of this, so we could send you happily on your way." I couldn't believe what was coming out of his mouth.

"You want me gone?" I said, feeling the bitterness of my words. "I guess I'll leave then." I took slow, scared steps towards the door."

"I'm sorry, but I can't have a young delusional girl wandering the streets. Please stay."

How could I resist? It would be like heaven to be with my family for one last time before I left, still utterly confused.

He brought me back to the house, and there on the sofa sat Jacob…in a doctors outfit. He was talking to Carlisle. "Edward, did you get a copy of my new book?" He asked.

Jacob didn't like books, I don't even remember seeing him write anything, yet he handed him a book with the cover reading "Dr. Stevens's Guide to the Mind" with a picture of himself on the front.

"Thank-you Nigel. I'll get right on this one."

"Oh! You must be the patient." He observed.

"Yes, apparently I am." I hung my head.

"Come here, and tell me anything that might have happened in your childhood that might have done this to you." I couldn't help notice Ness slide by as far away as she could from me with a pool of ranch dressing and carrots on a plate. I heard her walk up the stairs and hang over the balcony to watch.

"Well," I started unsure. If I was crazy he could help me. "I'm really clumsy, or was. I've fallen and hit my head quite a few times. That could be it." I said depressed.

"Hmm, was?"

"Edwa- James, turned me into a vampire so I could spend my immortal life with him. You helped. At that point I was about to die from labor with Ren- Corinne."

"Now how does that make you feel?" He asked. I heard Renesme laugh at me.

"It makes me feel sad! How do you think it makes me feel after everything I love is torn away from me? I feel horrible! I feel more than that! I'd rather be turned ten more times! Have you ever been turned into a vampire? It feels like ten thousand flames licking your bones until you want to scream, but it doesn't help! It just doesn't! I'm leaving!" I ran out the door full speed, maybe if I disappear **they'll** feel like the crazy ones.

I crashed into something small and fell. The little something was still standing over me, fearlessly. "Mom, did you ever pause to think how your actions would affect my feelings when you told me Jacob was dead? At all?"

Mom?! She did know me! Little Nessie! Who I totally tore apart….What kind of mother was I? "Well, at the time it was sort of the point, but I guess it's a little worse than a shopping trip with Alice."

"A little! Mom! You made me believe Jacob was dead! I'd take a shopping trip every day of my life to stop that!"

Oh… "I'm sorry! I'm really sorry! I'll never put you through that again! I love you!" I stood up and hugged her recklessly.

"Mom!" She gasped.

"Oh, sorry again."

"Come on, let's get you back home."

"WAIT A MINUTE! YOU ALL WERE IN ON IT! HOW? WHY? OMG YOU ARE ALL SOOOO DEAD!"

"Nope, that was your punishment. Sorry mom." She ran away giggling.

**HOPE YOU LOVED IT! **


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